48. A Circle of Women
February 13, 2026
I have been growing my appreciation and understanding of how a circle of women can impact my life over the past five years, through the experiences I will share more about below. Being in a circle of women feels supported, safe, comfortable, restorative. But this is not something that happens automatically. I’m working on looking back at experiences I have had that created feelings that I want to have again, and working on how I can create those anew. Writing helps me to think, so this week, I’m writing about these circles as part of my work to understand the components that enable the magic to happen. I see this as an element of elders-in-training,
I had always had groups of friends, but these groups were organic and fluid, that is, women came in and out of the group over time. I never had a group of “besties” that stayed together over years like in “Sex in the City.” I had this vague idea that I was missing out on something – on bad days, I’d think that something was wrong with me because I didn’t have a group of women who stuck with me through thick and thin. Throughout my adult years, I would have a good friend for a time, but those relationships did not last over multiple years, or past moves and other life changes. I admired people I knew who seemed to have three or four women on speed-dial. But I didn’t think about those connections as something I should work on, I just thought it was the way things were.
Then, a few things happened that enabled me to see that the connections that sustain us were not things that just happened, but that they were something you decided and worked towards. And I came to realize that those groups of women that happen organically may be full of women who are not necessarily best for you, aligned with you, cheering for you as you work towards your most authentic self. In other words, I came to realize that I needed to *create* the circles of women that would sustain me. I came to that understanding through several experiences that led me to understand how these circles could work.
It started back in February 2020 when I responded to a prompt in an email from my alma mater, expressing interest in joining a “Women in Leadership Circle” for 10 weeks. Eight women who had graduated from this university with different degrees in different years started meeting on zoom once a week. It was quite well thought out – roles and a charter and rotating topic selection. As the world knows, during those 10 weeks, everything changed. We found comfort and solace and company in each other - these 8 women who we previously had no connection with. In spite of us being put together somewhat randomly, we found that we had many shared experiences. A handful of us kept meeting on and off over the next few years, and I still check in with them from time to time.
My next women’s circle experience was in June 2024. I had been looking for a women’s retreat that I could drive to, and Dr. Amanda Hanson, a woman I was following on Instagram, was hosting a retreat in Boone, NC. I could drive there from Ohio, so I signed up. I did invite one friend to join me, but she could not come, so I went by myself. There were about 25 other women there, and we had quite the three days. It was a deep drive into our struggles, our challenges, our triumphs and our dreams. Several women from this same group came to Phoenix in October 2024 for an event that Dr. Hanson held here. We re-connected again then. We created a WhatsApp group after the first retreat and stayed in touch for a while as a group, but we mostly drifted away, as tends to happen. Knowing what I know now, I don’t see that as a failure, but as a part of the process.
Then, in July 2025, I joined a group of women on a retreat to Ireland. There, I met another group of amazing women. It really struck me then how much I enjoyed this experience of being together with a group of women who I didn’t know previously, all of us curious, seeking, wondering, leaning toward something new. Sharing, listening, being together. Finally, in Sept 2025, I went to a Fall Equinox circle at my local yoga studio. The leader put together some thoughtful activities, and we spent two hours together. It felt very good.
Based on these experiences, I’ve come to realize the power and strength we can draw from each other when we are in a shared open environment that is tuned towards us being our full selves, aka, a circle of women. I have been drawing from these experiences to see how I might go about creating my own circles, and I have been experimenting a bit, trying to see what I can co-create with others. I imagine that if all women knew that they could be in such a place, and could experience being in such places, even if they were temporary, they would be able to grow that much stronger. As I’ve talked about in the past, I feel as though these types of deeper connections weave a net around us, one that perhaps can support us and provide us with a sense of safety and security as we grow into ourselves.
I’m not sure yet how specifically this fits with my larger goals for building an elders-in-training program, but I know it does. Could starting by growing and participating in circles be a way we grow towards our selves as an elder?
I’d love to hear about your experiences in a circle of women, if you are willing to share.
