How to be a bitter old woman

Let others define my value

Follow advice about my body from others without question

Ignore what my body is telling me and force it to comply with what others tell me is best for me

Give up the things I care about so that others can have the things they care about

Spend money and time making myself look the way other people say I should look

Complain and criticize

Never be satisfied and always find fault

Keep myself busy doing things for others

Ignore my instincts about how best to spend my time, money and energy, and instead do what others expect me to do or what I think others expect me to do

Build my life to meet unspoken and spoken “rules” of the society I live in

Keep my needs hidden and do not share them with those who love me

Tolerate disrespectful treatment

Hide my emotions so well that I often am not aware of what I am feeling

Get upset when people do not treat me the way I think I should be treated

Have disdain for my body, my face, my hair, my habits, my tendencies or my history

Forget to find joy in my children, and constantly chide them for their choices.

Rush by daily moments of beauty, and instead only focus on all the things I should be doing.

Use the word “should” often

Fill my space with constant chatter – podcasts, TV news, home shows, talk shows – to fill the silence

Stay inside all day

Feel like I don’t have enough time

Worry about whether people like me

Spend time with people who are unhappy with their lives, but who are not working to change their lives