39. A New Focus for Our 3rd Quarter of Life
December 12, 2025
I read whatever I can find that lays out an alternative way of thinking about aging. I believe there are many options that would be better than our culture’s default: child to young adult to working/family to retired. I read about an alternative model based on Hindu principles that separates life into four quarters, roughly ages 0-25 (Student), 25-50 (Householder), 50-75 (Forest Dweller/Retiree) and 75-100 (Wandering Ascetic). I like this framing because it separates our idea of “working/family” years into two parts and extends beyond “retired.”
This four-quarter model aligns with an idea that resonates with me (and led me to come up with the idea of elders-in-training), the idea that your later working years (at 50 but maybe starting in late 40’s) can have a different feeling than the earlier years of a career. In your late 20’s through your 40’s, you are building your vessel, striving, working hard on your way to contribute. This is also the time to invest financially for personal stability, to develop skills and knowledge, and to be putting energy into relationships. These resources will provide needed support in later phases of life. As you reach your late 40’s/early 50’s, I have seen many who move toward the characteristics described as the 3rd quarter, even though we do not have this as part of our cultural framing. As you reach this age, this work and effort may start to seem like it is not fulfilling, that you want something more. You may be more interested in giving back, seeing broader, beyond your immediate needs. Richard Rohr talks about this in “Falling Upward” and Arthur Brooks talks about it in “Strength to Strength”. This is a potentially big shift that is not marked or discussed in our society, and I’d like to change that, so I’ll talk about this 3rd quarter in my next few essays.
I’ve started to pull together some additional detail for this 3rd quarter, some foundational components that can provide a focus. As an overview, I see two potential levels within the 3rd quarter; the second builds on the first, but not everyone may be drawn to that second level. These levels can serve as a guide or a waypost, marking the way. The included figure shows an overview of all four quarters, for illustration.
As I see it, the first level in the 3rd quarter is to OWN YOUR LIFE, and this, in my framing, has three parts: Body, Community, and Purpose. These are grounding elements that hopefully were also a part of the 2nd quarter, but need more attention here. The second level in the third quarter is to SHARE YOUR LIFE; this is when you are moving into becoming an elder who supports others in their journeys. This also includes three parts in my framing: Stillness, Self-awareness, and Learning. More to come!
The tools we need to be successful elders are coming into focus for me; I hope you’ll continue with me on this Elders-in-Training journey, and share your thoughts in the comment section below.
